I have been planning on starting a blog for two years.
Planning… To be honest I am intimidated. What if I don’t have anything to say? Or worse, what if what I say, no one cares to
read. Believe me, I have lots of excuses
such as I don’t have time. To make
matters worse, I read the blogs of others and am blown away by their insight,
dedication, and sheer knowledge of all things academic. How can I possibly contribute? I have never been a quitter so hundreds of
times I would start again. And then, the
same thing would happen. I would pick it
apart. I would critique it. I would revise it. I would read another post more eloquently
written than mine. Ultimately, I would
scrap it. And yet, for some reason I
couldn’t understand, I continued to want to blog through all of this anguish. I am embarrassed to say that I have even paid
for a domain name for my ‘future blog’ for, well, a long time.
Today I happened across this short video, Obvious to You,
Amazing to Others.
It got me thinking. It
was talking to me. Maybe, just maybe, I
might have something useful to say. Maybe what is obvious to me isn’t obvious
to everyone else. Already I am internalizing
how my students feel sitting in front of a piece of paper with nothing more
than a black stare. How frustrating it
must be for them when I casually say, “Just write something.” I understand the pressure to produce
something in hopes of the approval of another.
Not easy. I can relate. That’s
when it hit me. I don’t need to blog for
others; I need to blog for me. It
doesn’t really matter if the posts are perfect.
In fact, it doesn’t matter if they are read by others. Ok, I would love it if someone found value in
them. But for now, an audience is too
much pressure. My perfectionistic
tendencies kick in and render me immobile.
My self-doubt overwhelms me.
So this time, I will really write. I will be ok with a few grammatical
errors. I will overlook the odd
mistake. I will write for me. Forgive me
if what I say is obvious.
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